Several weeks ago, my Mom and I took a road trip. Life for Mom is different. Life for our family is different. It has been quite a journey for us all. We learned many lessons along the way. We have weathered illnesses, hospitalizations, the loss of our Dad, falls, and surgeries. Our family has not always been on the same page, about my Mom. But today things look different. Today feels different. Our family has come together, patched up old hurts, and celebrate Mom together and in our own ways.

Today Mom lives in Independent Living in a Retirement Community. Moving to this community was not an easy decision for my Mom or some of the family. But as the main caregiver for many years, and as a nurse and patient advocate, finally having a real plan for the “what ifs” of aging, put me at ease, took away my anxiety, and enabled me to slow down, and enjoy my Mom, knowing that life is short for all of us!

Mom and I celebrate Sunday Fundays together. My brother and his wife snowbird from Vermont to spend time with her My sister lives closer to Mom now, and takes the urgent calls from Mom, with me as back up. My other brothers provide support from afar, with frequent phone calls and facetimes and visits. Her grandchildren remain connected. And I started to talk to her about advocating for herself.

It is with these plans in place, that Mom and I headed out for our 8 hours road trip so we could visit my son and his wife, and Mom’s great granddaughter. It was such a fun trip. We laughed and cried and shared many memories. We made new memories. We came home, exhausted but happy.

That is, until 3 days later. Mom started feeling bad. Sore throat. Cough. Fatigued….. Mom was on it. She had a COVID test on hand. She tested positive. I felt fine. We had a plan. Mom called the dining room to have meals delivered. She called housekeeping to make some extra visits to change her linens, and clean the bathroom. She called her doctor. She called the nurse in her community to let her know she had COVID. They delivered another COVID test. We increased our phone calls to check in and keep her company. Her many friends in the community checked in on her. It was a worrisome time, but as a family, we had a plan. She retested for COVID and was negative. But after another 10 days she still was not well.  She called her doctor and my sister delivered some antibiotics and steroids. She is finally starting to feel better!

I am so proud of my Mom. Our family weathered some very emotional times to get her to this place. I am so proud of our family! Mom knew what to do. We knew what to do. She had the support system in place, just in case. And she felt empowered to advocate for herself!

The moral of the story- When it comes to aging, be prepared. And keep enjoying life with those you love!